Spain on fire

Let's go to a party!, Annia told me and I said yes, without thinking, because I love them, and it didn't occur to me to ask where or what kind of party it would be, because those two years that my friend has been with me, they always seemed to me Something to take into account. And it is that nineteen is a respectable figure, which gives one the expected right to make decisions. And be responsible for them? My father told me one day that I told him. They are the two sides of a coin.

And now I realize what I was saying, because I am in this emergency room, with more tentacles than an octopus, doing the math to see if I stay in this world or need another life to learn that some decisions are not child's play.

Who would have known it was a teenage hoodwink trap? And how quickly my fear vanished with that Spain on fire cocktail and the first joint and Javier's hands all over my body like a herd of buffalo stepping on the daisies of my virgin forest.

Consciousness comes and goes, I leave it to play with Daniela's dolls and the characters from the canine brigade, carelessly throwing myself down the ravine that my grandmother used to tell me about, slipping on the bark of a palm tree, when I was a child just like me Be careful with the pull of male desires darling, she told me. We have come into the world to rein in the instincts of men, so that they can be divine.

And it seems that when I still could, I didn't take the reins and let the false needs to run wild to pretend that I am brave, that I am about to cross that absurd border that they have legislated, after which I am supposed to be trained, God knows for what decisions?

And then the demons seemed to loosen up, and I kept drinking, smoking and someone said surely there wasn't a brave one at the party who had forty bucks to pay for a ticket to glory, or I don't remember if he said it was hell. My father had recently come to see me and had given me some money and I put it on the table. I inhaled a mule kick, a thunderbolt and I didn't know anything else.

Now they are all there, waiting for the doctor to come out and say that it was late, that he is very sorry, and they did what was humanly possible, perhaps with luck he can give hope, that there has been serious brain damage, he will say, that it is possible that have to remain in a wheelchair for life, with a strap to hold the head to the chair.

I have seen the anesthesiologist go to the room next to the operating room to get something that the cardiologist has asked her for, the lady from the ICU who has been by my side since I arrived, has gotten up and is walking down the corridor, with a very light, and I notice her very happy, I would say enjoying having left her body. One moment! I also feel much better all of a sudden, without that shortness of breath, and I am floating, I am moving away from the body, from the pain, from the suffering. There's another party out there, and they're waiting for me! Only this time I will be careful and prudent.