A super guide to understanding adolescence

The adolescent phase is fundamental in the development of all human beings, this includes the years that go between the beginning of puberty 11 or 12 years and the passage to adulthood that is more or less 20 years.

The most outstanding characteristic of this stage is the transition from child dependency to adult independence, and it is precisely this process that usually generates conflicts and tensions both with parents and with the adolescent himself.

Within the stages of adolescence, they have to differentiate their current identity from the childhood one created from the characteristics of the parents, so that their own experience and the bond with their peers will be a fundamental source of this process.

How to understand and treat a teenage son?

Be interested in understanding it

It is common to get carried away by feelings of annoyance and to get into conflict when a child seems to want to go above the rules or challenge our authority, so communication with children of this age is complex.

However, we must do the work of understanding why it acts the way it does and be open to establishing good communication that allows mediation.

Remember when you were a teenager

This can be helpful to understand how your child feels, it is not about comparing it with how you were, but it tries to connect with that stage and think about what things happened to you, distressed you or what kind of support you would have wanted from your parents.

It is important to be able to understand our children from one's own experience, but always contextualizing it to the current time and clearly to the characteristics of your own child, know their abilities and capacities.

The need for freedom, wanting to explore and the search for identity are behaviors that we all go through.

Respect their needs

It is important not to fall into an authoritarian position with adolescents, it is always important to also set clear rules and limits, but be open to understanding our child's needs and negotiating.

Let him make his own mistakes

Experience is a good way to learn, it can mark us positively if we understand what our mistakes have been and develop resources to avoid making them again.

Do not be an excessively defensive father, we understand that this can be difficult, but your child must learn some things on his own, this does not imply leaving him without care or support, you are there for him at all times, but you must strengthen his own resources that he then they will serve for the rest of your life.

Communicate with him or her

One of the biggest mistakes parents can make at this stage is adopting a dominating posture over their children.

Communication is always more positive and fluid if your child feels respected, esteemed, so he can find in you the help he needs to grow as a person.

Actively listen

This point goes hand in hand with the previous one, in order to communicate with our children we must first listen to them actively, that is, pay attention to both their verbal and non-verbal language in order to understand what they tell us from love and interest.

Is autonomy in adolescence equal to rebellion?

Not necessarily, as we mentioned the stages of adolescence assume autonomy, this refers to the ability to make decisions on their own, this does not always correspond to rebellion.

Adolescents must have the opportunity to satisfy that need for freedom, and they can do so even while respecting the rules.

Since as parents we keep the opportunity for discussion open, there will be no need for adolescents to transgress these norms, however conflicts are inevitable, although they are also a possibility for the development of our child's character.

How to face this difficult stage for parents?

We must consider that parents also go through a time of change, at certain moments they have the possibility of feeling overwhelmed or rejected by their children, and it is not simple to preserve their authority.

It is at this moment that our children begin to explore new horizons, however, although it sometimes seems that friends have replaced parents in trust and intimacy, for the young, parents continue to be the primary source of stability.

For this reason, this phase is key to strengthening the father and son trust, a deep personality, and to be a mature adult in the various areas of life.

Parents who understand this change will help their child grow up psychologically healthier and more prepared to face the challenges of the future.