Squaring the plan of the ego with that of my soul.
Sometimes I feel the impulse to share what I think and feel, more than anything to write it, which is a way that I have to make a little more aware of what is loose in there.
It is like someone who serves a plate of what he has cooked for himself and puts it on a table in the doorway of his house, in case a hungry traveler passes by and wants to try a bite.
And I add pepper and salt, I choose the cooking time and I try to make it to my liking, because no one has commissioned me, or hired me as a cook.
And today I want to make a stew that I really like, I want to go deep, as they say in the streets of the town where I was born, get wet without fuss and put the ingredients in the quantities that my heart dictates, without stopping too much to think if potential diners will like it (which is you)
This is the stew:
Something tells me that everything is fine in my life and that there are no mistakes, that I don't have to be afraid that at the end of the road a judge will appear and slam a hammer on the table and say: you, for hell!
Throughout the history of humanity there have always been those who have a great interest in that the great masses of people are fearful and obedient and do not steal or kill, but allow themselves to be robbed and killed.
So at some point in my life, I thought that religion and spirituality were synonymous, and I didn't want to know any more about this.
Then he squeezed my shoe and for a moment I looked up and prayed to God to be with me. Immediately afterwards, I said to myself: "but if you don't believe", do you really not believe?
And I started looking in books, the internet, social networks and I read how much it fell into my hands and I watched videos, listened to audios, reports, testimonies.
I had already read the Gospels and I read them again with another understanding, another light that God surely gave me and I did not find anything abominable in them, but between the lines, very subtly, sometimes, more words of men than of God, more things of the church that sanctified the crusades, that stood by the exploiters and masters, that separates, divides human beings into bad and good, sinners and saints.
And luckily for me, I didn't throw in the towel and kept looking, until I found the most precious thing in silence, in contact with nature, in humble introspection.
I think the first step is to perceive the divinity that we are, how close we are to God or whatever you want to call it. The magic that manifests itself and makes itself aware, in the incredible mystery of human existence.
And then what Paul of Tarsus said takes shape: "the human being is body, soul and spirit" And one realizes that the body is perishable, it is transitory and the soul and spirit that we are eternal.
How then could I know when I am my thoughts and emotions that are inherent in the physical body and when it is my soul that takes control?
Well, at this point in the ephemeral existence of the body that serves as a vehicle for my soul to live this human experience, when seven decades have passed of the existence of that mind associated with what is easier to perceive, what I thought I was. For so long, I progressively perceive that it is my soul who is at the helm of my ship.
She gives free will to the little self and depending on her decisions, she puts before him another and another dilemma, which is at the same time, the one that best suits the evolutionary process and development of consciousness.
It is as if he suddenly had all the confidence that a child has when his father takes him by the hand.
And I cannot know for sure, but there are indications that tell me that this is the way that suits my soul:
Those signs are:
The human beings with whom I interact, respect me, love me, seek my company, especially the closest ones, who are the most difficult.
I perceive a loving world out there that embraces me and gives me acceptance, even when I make apparent mistakes, which later turn out to be opportunities.
Every day I have fewer fears and I live in an apparent senseless joy that at the same time I share with those who want it.
I have no enemies, no people who annoy me, nor do I consider that they can harm me, nor do I have feelings of suspicion towards them, even if they think differently from me.
Those are the reasons why I believe that I must continue to trust that the plan that my soul has is compatible with the plan that my little self is following.