What is vicarious violence and how to identify it early?

We have heard of many types of violence and it seems that the list does not end, but vicarious violence is an evil that in particular elevates human cruelty.

In recent decades, we have seen many cases worldwide of parents harming their children to harm their spouses, and this is the cruelest end of the spectrum. vicarious violence. But, it does not only go to this extreme, this type of violence has many variants.

If you want to know everything related to this disorder and what to do to guide or help someone who is a victim of this type of violence, be very attentive so that you discover everything about vicarious violence and why it is so harmful.

Why is it called vicarious violence?

The term applies, since the way in which this type of violence is carried out is by assaulting an individual to cause harm to a third party. The most common case is parents who harm a child, to significantly affect their partner.

This act does not only imply physical violence exerted directly, but also altering someone's perception of another person, placing it against them. It happens a lot in families going through divorce proceedings.

This type of action is often motivated by feelings of revenge and hatred, which in their negative response to situations they choose to harm in this way.

In the last decades, several tragic cases have been heard, where the aggressors went as far as murder, and also suicide.

Women are often the most affected by this type of abuse, and this is one of the most complex family conflicts that affects society today. However, it also happens when men are the ones who are victimized.

How does vicarious violence affect?

Any type of violence is harmful in its entirety, but it has serious repercussions in particular. Whoever applies this type of violence harms the person he seeks to harm and also the person he uses as a means to inflict harm.

Many children are traumatized due to being used as a means of manipulation by one parent to exert control over the other. Applying this type of violence comes to deform the behavior of infants by copying the patterns they observe.

Vicarious violence encompasses two more types of violence, child and gender violence, which merge into it.

The constant exercise of physical aggression and threats weakens the security of all the victims, making them fragile and dependent people.

This problem can reach extreme results, if those affected do not put a stop to the aggressor, since the degree of abuse is progressive and goes from words to actions very quickly, even attempting against the life of infants to harm the couple.

What causes this behavior?

There are different factors that could be attributed as possible triggers for this type of violent behavior. Most cases are linked to:

• Patterns copied from parents in childhood.

• Having been abused or mistreated.

• Grow up in harsh environments.

In most cases, the aggressor also has addictions to substances that alter him, such as alcohol or drugs, making his violent state daily.

Keep in mind that whoever acts with this type of violence is aware of the damage it causes and seeks to justify their actions.

People with obsessive disorders and who are controllers can also develop this type of behavior as a tool to achieve their goals.

How to identify the vicarious aggressor?

The way of executing violence can vary according to the individual, but there are certain traits that are common in people with this problem.

Has a history of violence

One of the most notorious signs are the attacks of anger and a history of mistreatment towards other people. Vicarious violence is just another variant of someone who has hostile behavior.

controlling behavior

Another trait is the controlling attitude and the search to exercise dominance, above all. Actions such as constant attacks of jealousy or disrespect for privacy are reasons for alarm.

The behavior of the aggressor is a facade to hide their extreme insecurity, they are people who have a very low self-esteem and therefore resort to this means to exercise control and feel strong and important.

dangerous addictions

As we mentioned before, it usually happens that the aggressor has an inclination towards some vice, the most frequent being alcohol. This transforms its character when ingested, so it is also another alarm factor to take into account.

What to do in the face of vicarious violence?

The first action that should be taken is to seek legal help in the event of any type of abuse and to order preventive measures.

One of the reasons why abuse reaches tragic extremes is because the victims do not report it.

For both the victims and the aggressor it is necessary to provide them with psychological help. Some experience a trauma and the other has a behavioral disorder that can be treated and corrected if the person is willing to cooperate.

Violence should never be justified, and even less when it is exercised in this way, action should be taken on the matter with extreme promptness, since the anger of someone who has this behavioral problem can lead him to carry out very cruel acts in favor of generating damage.