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Post-wedding depression: Symptoms and tips to overcome it as a couple
Depression can manifest itself in different ways and motivated by different circumstances, but among the most common is post-wedding depression.
And not necessarily the person who suffers from it must be in a state of sadness, and it is that without realizing it, our partner could be suffering from this depression.
So if you are about to get married or have already had your big wedding, I recommend that you continue reading.
What is post-wedding depression?
This is a state of dissatisfaction, sadness, and even intolerance to reality that is experienced after the emotions of the wedding.
In general, couples who decide to take the plunge take months and even years to prepare, accumulating efforts, emotions, money and a lot of attention.
When this happens, many find themselves without meaning, since they focused on the wedding as the only goal, forgetting the rest, life as a couple, the formation of a family and many more goals.
There is also the case that the individual created very high or even unrealistic expectations of the marriage, and starting the marriage routine is not what they dreamed of.
Women are more prone to this type of depression than men, although there are cases that are the exception. In turn, it is a recurring condition in young marriages or those who have not lived together.
In any of the cases, post-wedding depression is a silent crisis that can have serious consequences for the couple if it is not addressed in time.
Common symptoms of post-wedding depression
Each person is different and each marriage is the same, so the manifestation of depression is not always the same for all cases. However, the most common symptoms that can be evidenced are the following.
sadness and feeling of emptiness
For many, the wedding day represented everything, since before it was in a sphere of mutual effort, receiving attention from the couple, friends and family, taking care of every detail so that it came out perfectly.
This leads to a circle of endless emotions, which although they started out happy and very optimistic, past the purpose they thought they had (the wedding), they turn into sadness and bitterness as they feel incomplete.
The fact of remembering the wedding becomes a breaking point, and although some may express it with tears, others may take it to an automatic state, that is, act and experience their married life, without enjoying it.
The latter is one of the most dangerous, since it manifests itself silently. But also, in some cases it can cause irregularity in the hours of sleep and cause lack of appetite.
reproaches and negativity
Dissatisfaction and always seeing the negative side of things is part of the daily life of people with post-wedding depression.
This is motivated by strong emotions in the face of the reality of life as a couple. We can not deny it, before and during the wedding, it can be a fairy tale, but when they get to live together, the character, habits, even the physical, if you have high expectations, usually frustrate.
Among the frustration, negative thoughts of low self-esteem and nonconformity begin to be generated, even returning to the wedding day detailing what they did not like or what could have been better.
feeling of abandonment
Before and during the wedding and even a few weeks after, the couple's attention is 100%. However, when we introduce ourselves to everyday life, with factors that should complement the marriage, such as work, attention lowers its intensity.
This leads the couple to have states of loneliness and to feel as such, this increases if they are separated from family and friends, to whom they are very attached.
Lack of emotion and motivation
One of the phases of depression is the lack of emotion and motivation to do anything. In general, nothing brings them joy and they seem apathetic with daily tasks.
It turns out that they reached their highest state of joy and satisfaction at the wedding, not being able to feel this anymore, they see no interest in other things.
If you notice that your partner does not want to do anything, and when he does it is because he is pushed by necessity, it means that he is not enjoying his life as a couple, but rather lives in the past.
Consequences of postnuptial depression
The consequences of this depression go beyond the symptoms, since if it is not detected in time it can unbalance the marriage and even end it.
This is because depression although one person is the one who suffers from it, the other person is also affected by its symptoms and reactions. However, let's see what other consequences it can cause.
Infidelity: The depressed person, seeing himself in that state of dissatisfaction, seeks to revive his emotions, but with another person.
Psychological and verbal violence: In one case, it can be generated by the affected party when expressing their negative thoughts. On the other hand, it can be the couple with ignorance, seeing the attitude of the affected.
Low self-esteem: The depressed person can reach a state of insecurity and contempt for himself and his reality, from which it will be difficult to get out.
Divorce: Either due to ignorance of the depression on the part of the couple, or due to not finding a solution to the problem.
What to do to face post-wedding depression?
In any of the cases, it is mainly required the understanding and attention of the couple towards the state of the affected person. But, in order for you to successfully overcome it, keep these 5 tips in mind.
1. Ask for help
We cannot get out of a state of depression alone, we need someone to encourage us, advise us and motivate us to overcome the problem.
Asking for help is the first step, be it from your own partner, a friend or a psychologist. You can also ask a relative for help, but in this case you must be cautious, choose a wise and neutral person, since the relationship and emotions may end up affecting you.
2. Improve communication
The first obstacle in any marriage relationship is lack of communication, and if you're going through post-wedding depression, this will be fatal.
Express your feelings to them and lead them to understand your problem in depth. Do not keep anything to yourself, since from there they will be able to see the faults, where they should improve and when you should simply have tolerance and empathy.
3. Overcome differences
As a couple, you may be at a crisis point because of character differences you didn't know existed. It is a fact that marriage should be enjoyed to the fullest, but it is not that there will be no disputes.
Taking into account the conflict that this generates, the couple with unanimous interest must learn to overcome each problem, without repenting, only seeking to tolerate and solve in love.
4. Therapy
Although they are a new marriage, this does not prevent them from receiving therapy. Remember that depression is a problem that over time can become the end of the relationship.
5. Lay groundwork before the wedding
Finally, if you are not married yet, the best thing you can do is sit down and talk. There, clear up all possible doubts, establish the role and tasks of each one, and how you want your marriage to be.
This will lead them to see the charm of their relationship outside of the pressure of the wedding, and make a clear vision of things to come.
