Suicide letter from Kurt Cobain
One of the saddest moments in music came with the death of Kurt Cobain. In his letter, he tells of the sad moments that have come into his life and how he wants his environment to continue without missing him.
For Boddah:
Speaking like the highly experienced fool who would rather be a neutered childish charlatan. This note should be pretty easy to understand. Everything that I was taught in the punk rock courses that I have been following over the years, since my first contact with the let's say, ethics of independence and the connection with my environment has turned out to be true.
It's been too long since I've been excited by listening to or creating music, or writing it, or even doing rock'n'roll. I feel incredibly guilty.
For example, when the lights go out before the concert and the screams of the audience are heard, they do not affect me the way they affected Freddy Mercury, who seemed to love that the public loved and adored him. Which I admire and envy very much.
In fact, I can't fool you, any of you, it just wouldn't be fair to me. Pretending that I am having a 100% good time would be the worst crime I could imagine.
Sometimes I have the feeling that I would have to sign in before going on stage.
I've tried everything to stop that happen. (And I keep trying, believe me Lord, but it's not enough.) I am aware that I, we, have influenced and liked many people.
I must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they have already happened. I am too simple. Furthermore, I need to be a little anesthetized to regain the enthusiasm I had when I was a kid.
In our last three tours I have appreciated much more all the people that I have personally met who are our fans, but despite that I cannot overcome the frustration, guilt and hypersensitivity towards people.
There is only good in me, and I think I just love people too much. So much so that it makes me feel fucking sad.
The typical sad, sensitive, dissatisfied Pisces, my God! Why I can not enjoy? I do not know! I have a divine woman, full of ambition and understanding, and a daughter who reminds me a lot of how I was. Full of love and joy, she trusts everyone because for her everyone is good, and she believes that they will not harm her.
That scares me so much that it almost immobilizes me. I can't bear the thought of Frances turning into a sinister, miserable, and self-destructive rocker like I've become.
I have everything, everything. And I appreciate it, but since I was seven I hate people in general... Just because it seems that people find it easy to relate and be understanding. Comprehensive! Just because I love and feel too sorry for people.
Thank you all from the bottom of my nauseating stomach for your letters and your interest during the last years. I am a fickle and lunatic creature. My passion has run out, and remember that it is better to burn out than to fade out slowly.
Peace, love and understanding.
Kurt Cobain.
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please, Courtney, go ahead for Frances, for her life that will be so much happier without me.
I love you. I love you! "
