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Learn to identify victimizing behavior
We all know someone who gives the impression that the whole universe is against him, and we always hear him talk about how everything goes wrong for him. If you have come across someone like this, you are most likely in the presence of a victimizer.
It is normal to complain about some unfavorable situation, but it is very different when this ceases to be something occasional and becomes permanent. The victimizer lives in a state of constant tragedy, where he is always the one affected, but this is all staged.
What is victimhood?
Victimhood is defined as a pattern of behavior, where an individual assumes a position of victim and affects their habitual attitude.
They shift the blame for their problems to all kinds of external factors, being unable to recognize their responsibility.
They are characterized by a docile attitude and are not given to facing problems or circumstances, they only concentrate on avoiding them. They use the complaint as a way to vent and feel satisfaction in obtaining attention by recounting their circumstances.
Their perception of life is generally negative, and although their behavior in most cases is not consciously driven, they can use their victim attitude as a means of manipulation to obtain benefits.
What causes this distortion of behavior?
Although this pattern of behavior does not originate specifically from episodes such as traumas, there are some motivations and actions that can produce it, the most frequent of which are these.
Fear
Specifically, the fear of facing situations or the consequences of mistakes, this makes it easier to justify blaming others, and thus gives rise to a tool to protect against failure.
modeled behavior
You can learn from anyone, if an individual carefully observes the actions of a victimizer, they can easily adopt their way of acting.
This case occurs mostly in the relationship between parents and children, where they see this type of behavior as something correct.
Interest
Certainly, many act as victims without thinking about it, but there is another group that does it with conscience, and uses this way of acting to seek all kinds of benefits.
It all starts when they realize that the victim often receives care and support. This leads them to consider this behavior as a practical weapon to manipulate others in their favor, in a subtle way that makes them continue to be seen as good people.
Abuse
There have been cases where a person was a victim in a period of his life, this position was rooted in him and remains even after leaving that condition. In general, the traits that are most maintained are passive behavior and a negative view of their environment.
How do I identify a victimizer?
It's pretty easy to tell the difference between someone going through a temporary bump and someone living through constant bumps. But, to sharpen your lens even more, so you can quickly notice and deal with them, here's a breakdown of their behavior.
They project pity
Their way of speaking, acting and even dressing seeks to make others feel sensitized by them. It is common to see them with a sad or worried face, and they use fatalistic expressions, which make them look very affected or vulnerable.
Pity is their tool to attract attention, they change their appearance, story and setting, but the attitude is the same.
They complain about everything
They never feel pleased, happy or fully satisfied, most of their comments are complaints.
They always resort to exalting the negative side of any situation and complaining, more than a way of defense, is a way of making it clear that they are victims.
They are predisposed to the worst
Another side of the victimizer is pessimism, his mind always leads him to expect failure, in any scenario they only see the possibility of failing. They are not risky people at all, they like comfort and are very good as demotivating agents.
They do not take responsibility
The blame for the circumstances they live in never has anything to do with them, everything is always referred to third parties. This is one of the darker sides of this problem, since the person becomes emotionally irresponsible and affects others.
They use drama and exaggeration
Any circumstance they experience will be expanded and told with the greatest possible drama, always putting themselves in the role of the affected, but without losing prominence. This factor is intertwined with lies and manipulation.
they feel sorry for themselves
Not only do they seek the compassion of others, they also find themselves in a position where they ensure that everything acts unfairly towards them. They are always comparing themselves to others, claiming that others have had better luck, as a way of cheering themselves up.
They deny their state and do not change
They act with denial when someone unmasks their behavior, they are unable to recognize the truth, instead, they act with rejection towards whoever exposes them.
People with this condition do not make any effort to change, they are not interested in it or see it as necessary.
How to deal with the problem and what happens if it is not corrected?
This conflict is based entirely on behavior, so to change it basically you have to get the person who suffers from it to recognize that they have a problem.
To treat it, you have to work in the following areas, it can be done by a therapist or someone close, very trustworthy, who is dedicated to listening and confronting.
Listen with focus: You must listen to his conflict, but not pity him, but make him see his responsibility and encourage him to overcome the problem.
Raise his self-esteem: You must make him change his vision of himself, and begin to see himself as someone capable, who is in control of his life.
Speak frankly: Be very frank and realistic, you do not need to be pitied, you need to understand the reality of your state of life.
Teach him to change expressions: He must Learn to use positive phrases that reaffirm your confidence.
Encourage and challenge him: Constantly challenge him to achieve goals and remind him that he can achieve it, celebrate when he progresses and confront him if he tries to manipulate you.
If a person clings to this conduct of life and makes no effort to change his state, some of the problems he might experience are as follows.
It will damage your affective relationships: People around you at some point will realize your behavior and proceed to rejection.
You will become emotionally dependent: You will not be able to execute any endeavor in any area of your life on your own.
He will acquire emotional problems: Over time his behavior will turn into a state of bitterness and depression.
Suicide: You may contemplate suicide if your condition becomes chronic.
Victimhood will never be a favorable behavior, no matter how much it appears to be a response, it is but another face of cowardice and manipulation.
In life you choose what position you play and being the victim does not end well in most cases.
