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Good girl syndrome: What is it and what are its consequences?

Maria de Piña
6 min read
Good girl syndrome: What is it and what are its consequences?
Good girl syndrome: What is it and what are its consequences?

It is very beautiful to be raised in an environment of love and good manners, but if you are never taught that there is a hostile world outside of that environment, this will cause problems. More when some girls learn only to shut up and obey, this is called good girl syndrome.

It is not about going through life being a rebel, but this syndrome creates great damage in women, making them dependent, helpless, and vulnerable. Everything has a limit, and in today's society, this behavior easily makes you a victim.

Would you like to know if you are acting under the influence of this syndrome? Do you know someone who is not capable of asserting their rights and would you like to help? Here we will tell you everything you need to know, to identify the problem and correct it.

What is good girl syndrome?

Good girl syndrome: What is it and what are its consequences?
good girl syndrome

Basically, it is a psychological state that is rooted in behavior, where the individual who suffers from it does not defend himself or debate when he is affected by third parties. His inclination is to put aside his own interests and prioritize the good of others, avoiding conflicts.

This behavior is very noticeable in work settings, where there are ladies who, although they are right, do not express themselves or give their point of view, for fear of damaging harmony. If something is demanded of them, no matter how unfair, they prefer to remain silent and not debate their reasons.

They have an erroneous disposition to satisfy the desires of others, looking for this to generate acceptance. In turn, they come to disregard their own interests and rights for the common good of their environment.

Another scenario of this syndrome is when in a marriage, the woman gives in to any demand from her husband or children. Taking on responsibilities that do not correspond to him, just for not defending his own freedom, he seeks to ensure that there are no family conflicts.

Cause of the syndrome in women

This problem comes as a result of a failure in upbringing, and of living under the stereotypes of the past, where women were taught that they had a position of inferiority. Although it is true that their position is more delicate, this does not make them inferior.

The problem lies in the inculcation of a deep-rooted principle of submission, where the girl is only prepared to accept and obey. But, he is never taught to debate and confront if his dignity, his position or his safety is affected.

This is a big mistake, since he grows up with the idea that it is wrong to defend himself, argue or assert his opinion, and reaches an adult state where he does not value his own abilities, talents and interests.

This, accompanied by a culture where machismo is still deeply rooted, makes this type of women easy prey for those who take advantage of their predisposition to obedience, and end up manipulating them at will.

How to identify the syndrome in someone?

Despite being a fairly notorious conflict, there are those who know how to hide their behavior very well. But, here you will know what are the characteristics that you should notice, so that you can identify if someone has the problem.

extreme kindness

His attitude is always friendly, cordial and attentive. This is not a bad characteristic in someone, the problem is that they behave like this, even when their true feelings are different. They use this attitude in a forced way because they think that they are required to be like that.

They never admit that they are stressed or in a bad mood, much less let anger out, even though it is obvious that this is the emotion they are going through. They constantly experience sentimental repression.

They don't think

In the face of any circumstance or decision that is made in their environment, they do not give any opinion, and let others define the course of actions, since they only limit themselves to obeying the guidelines indicated to them.

This silent stance is maintained even if they are directly affected and their position deteriorates. They also go to the point of justifying wrong actions, always believing that their opinion is worthless and will be rejected.

They are perfectionists

They take maximum care of making mistakes, they demand a lot of themselves, they seek to be as efficient as possible. Also, they take good care of their physical appearance, all this motivated so that they are not criticized and that they can keep everyone who is related to them happy.

They can't take criticism

The fact that someone disapproves of something can mean a great failure for them, their emotional strength is very weak and criticism makes them quickly fall apart. When this happens, they strive to change that perception at all costs.

Your self-esteem is very low

They do not recognize their own value and always feel inferior, less qualified than others, even though they are not. They express themselves with contempt and live comparing themselves with others, emphasizing the virtues against the defects that they possess.

How do you get over good girl syndrome?

You must be clear about two things, it will not be fast and it will not be easy, since we are talking about a behavior ingrained from upbringing. The first thing to achieve is for the person to recognize that they have a problem and that they need help.

When this happens, you should visit a therapist who is responsible, through sessions, for reordering your emotional self-assessment. She must come to understand that she is a free, independent being with the right to choose for herself.

On the other hand, it can also be achieved through conversations, where some points are reinforced and progress is evaluated. If you want to be the one to provide the help yourself, focus on the following.

  • She must understand that her priority is to be happy, and that she will not achieve this by pleasing others, but herself.

  • Help her identify her responsibilities and rights, making her see that she has a commitment to herself to defend her integrity if someone wants to affect her.

  • Exalt her talents and abilities, make sure that she can recognize her abilities and feel proud of them.

  • Teach him the value of giving his opinion and his point of view, and how this can change the course of things.

  • Set small goals that challenge her to decide, respond and act, evaluate the progress and fulfillment of them.

This syndrome only manages to lead women to a state of sadness, frustration and unhappiness, no one has the right to appropriate someone else's life.

Be brave and don't be afraid to speak up when it comes to fighting for your dreams, your dignity, or your future.