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How to gain more assertiveness when speaking?

Grecia De Flores
4 min read

It has happened to you that you are trying to communicate, but no matter how hard you try, you can't get others to understand you? Or perhaps do you feel that others do not take you into account when you say something?

These things are common in the communication process, since It has many very susceptible elements that the most common thing in the communication process is confusion.

So we bring you a guide to increase your level of communicative effectiveness, express what you feel appropriately to be taken into account and without hurting or offending anyone.

Build quality social relationships with your friends and family with these tips.

What is assertiveness?

Assertiveness is a social skill that as such can be trained by everyone, it consists of the ability to express our feelings and thoughts clearly, calmly, and effectively.

When we express ourselves from the assertiveness we are communicating our opinions without being aggressive and without letting others pass us by.

This is the right balance to transmit to others what we want without falling into being passive or aggressive.

How to gain more assertiveness when speaking? – Wellness and Health
The keys to assertiveness

Assertive techniques

  • Express yourself clearly: When communicating a message we want it to be clear so that others can understand it as we want them to. Think about what you want to convey and once you have clear ideas and objectives, use the most appropriate words you can get.

  • Be concise: Do not go around the bush with the information, keep the central line of what you are saying and avoid going around the bush or giving irrelevant information.

  • He was honest: Do not hide information, although it can be difficult to hear, sometimes we have to communicate something that the other will not like and that is fine. Do not be afraid of the reactions of others, even if what you have to say is painful, do not avoid saying it, just do it with kindness and understanding.

  • Maintain coherence: Do not forget the objectives of what you are transmitting, stick to the central theme of the speech and thus everything you say can contribute.

  • Be nice: Be nice and friendly even if firm, that your opinion is solid does not mean conveying it with aggressiveness, communicate from the good treatment being nice and without offending anyone.

  • You have used non-verbal communication: The body is very important, stand up confidently, but without showing aggression, use a tone of voice appropriate to the context and accompany what you say with body movements that emphasize your goals.

The keys to assertiveness

Assertiveness is an acquired skill, not all people will find it equally easy, it may take a lot of practice to master this skill.

This is normal and okay, be patient and considerate of yourself and your progress, do not stop practicing, and you will see how it will eventually get easier and easier.

You are the owner of your behavior, it is possible to achieve good communication, that they take you into account and that you take control of your emotions and thoughts.

Do not get carried away by the heat of the moment, strive to be the one who decides how you want to express yourself. For this, contact your body, feel in the present moment, identify your emotions, name and accept them.

Scan your body and perceive where it is, if it is tense, and if so, relax, position yourself naturally, stay in the present moment, and thus you will be able to calm your body and with it your mind.

By doing this you will be able to have clearer ideas and realize what is really happening, actively listen to whoever is speaking to you, understand their message, their intentions and in the same way you have to know and be worth yours.

You have used the SELF to express your emotions, if something has bothered you, avoid saying "you are a nuisance" on the contrary you can say "when you have done... I have bothered, since I felt..." in this way we avoid hurting to those who listen to us.

And we can communicate what we feel so that the other person can understand that their behavior has made us feel that way.

Be persistent, people will not always understand you and that is not why you should give up your beliefs or values, someone may not understand you, but you can know that you have communicated assertively to validate your emotions and thoughts.

Assertiveness is not always an easy task, however it is the key to establishing healthy and respectful affective communications, people who communicate assertively are happier, since they give value to their emotions and thoughts.