Listen to this story



Relationship problems that transcend the sexual

Grecia De Flores
4 min read

Interpersonal relationships are complex for everyone, even for those people who seem to have everything in order with their partners, those relationships that we see and admire for the committed and healthy who are seen have a great job behind them.

So it is normal that we have discussions and friction with our partner, that does not condemn the relationship to its failure, in fact sometimes these discomforts or differences can be generalized to other fields of couple relationships such as sexual life.

One field of our relationship as a couple is not detached from the others, so sometimes the problems we have in relation to our sexuality and sexuality together with our partner affect the mode of communication as a team and add tensions and insecurities.

If we keep these concerns and insecurities within us, we will not be able to solve them, and they will continue to distance us from our partner, so we invite you to pay attention to those signs that could be affecting your sexual performance to work on them and achieve a full sexuality and a healthy relationship…

What are the red flags?

On many occasions the problems in sexuality are not produced by the lack of desire, in fact not wanting to have sexual relations does not overly distress people, what is distressing is wanting them and not being able to have them or wanting them and not being satisfied or at ease with how the act itself unfolds.

Some factors that can impede sexual performance are:

Related to physical causes:

  • Performance-impairing diseases such as diabetic neuropathy or sclerosis

  • Hormonal imbalance

  • Endocrine deficiencies

  • Injuries that affect the lower limbs and complicate mobility

  • Circulatory deficit

  • Substance uses such as drugs, alcohol, or nicotine

Relationship problems that transcend the sexual – Wellness and Health
Sexual problems

Related to psychological causes:

  • Fear of embarrassment during sexual intercourse that prevents full development and enjoyment of sexual intercourse

  • Feeling of shame regarding the nakedness of your own body in front of your partner that is usually related to low self-esteem

  • Fear of not being able to completely please your partner, this feeling immobilizes and sometimes even when the partner has enjoyed the sexual act we are not convinced or satisfied

  • Trauma regarding sexuality stemming from past failed sexual experiences or rapes.

  • Feelings of guilt associated with the sexual act, usually this derives from the existing taboo around sex and the prohibition of it by some religions

  • Communication problems that hinder the enjoyment of both during intimacy

  • Unrealistic expectations, sometimes pornographic content creates unrealistic expectations about what pleasant sex should look like

  • Negative thoughts associated with sexuality that can come from misinformation

  • Anxiety, when we are tense, we cannot enjoy the sexual act naturally and our partner will notice this tension, which will probably lead to anxiety on their part.

  • Self-esteem issues that cause fear of being rejected that generates fear of letting go and prevents enjoying the moment

  • Difficulty letting go and tendencies towards perfectionism that prevent you from relaxing during sex

How to support ourselves in therapy?

It is possible that sexual problems are the indicator of a broader personal problem, so we suggest that if you are not satisfied with your sexual performance, and it is causing you anguish or has generalized to other fields of your interpersonal relationships, seek support from specialists.

Depending on each case and each couple, the specialist will design a plan and activities to improve your sexual performance and explore those reasons that are the cause of the deficiency.

Comprehensive work is also performed in therapy that includes the following characteristics:

1. Use of first-hand, up-to-date and verified information is used to explain to patients everything about social relationships, seeking to break down these stigmas and erroneous preconceptions.

2. Exercises that enhance the healthy development of sexuality, these can be both individual and in pairs, to help participants to loosen up, learn again what sex is, know their own body and that of their partner from the enjoyment and away from pressure.

3. Individual therapy As we have mentioned, the origin of these difficulties can be profound, so in those cases it was dealt with the individual history of each one to resolve these conflicts.

Sexual relations are aimed at both individual and joint enjoyment with your partner, communication problems and taboos hinder the full development of our sexual life.

Communicate to your partner what worries you, talk about it, because on many occasions this helps enormously to get rid of those expectations, fears and worries that allow us to enjoy freely.