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What is the psychology behind resentment?
All of us in our life at some point have been hurt voluntarily or involuntarily by others on an emotional level, this situation produces a pain that is difficult to assimilate that can stay with us and grow inside us, filling us with its harmful load.
Resentment is very common within the wide range of emotions that human beings are capable of feeling, it is normal that situations that hurt and outrage us produce this reaction.
However, we must be very attentive to how it extends over time, since although it is normal to feel anger when we have been hurt, it is also harmful to keep those feelings inside us and constantly carry them with us all the time.
Join us to understand a little more how resentment works in our mind and what we can do to get rid of it.
What is resentment?
Resentment is an emotion that derives from a moral wound caused by another person or situation that generates in us anger and the desire to provoke the same reaction of suffering to the one who caused it to us.
This can be the product of a situation that has hurt us directly and intentionally in which we want the other to pay for our suffering.
Or by omission in a situation in which we feel worthy of recognition and cannot obtain it, in which we will feel outraged by the injustice that has been committed against us.
In either case, resentment arises from the non-externalization of the sensations that situations generate in us.
This makes us relive again and again that painful memory that fills us again with those feelings that we experienced the first time.
That is, we anchor ourselves both to the past and to the person or people who have caused these emotions in us, and we do not finally finish elaborating them.
We keep them inside us, growing and feeding on the hatred and repetition generated by our head, having negative feelings and thoughts that can affect our daily development.
Common feelings within a resentful person
In general, a resentful person does not want to forget the event that generates these negative feelings, on the contrary, he is anchored to them. He constantly relives the pain that the events caused him and reaffirms that he must feel that pain due to the indignation that the past situation produces in him.
In cases in which the person feels resentment for the success of others, envy and jealousy are generated over this other person or objects that he wishes to possess, but seems not to obtain.
They position themselves in such a way that they are victims of an injustice towards them without really seeing the context behind the other person's positions or valuing their own possessions.
This set of circumstances produces the desire for revenge, submitting the other person who generates negative feelings the same level of pain that is experienced.
When this feeling is installed in people's thinking, they get trapped in them and generalize them to many areas of their lives, preventing enjoyment.
Tips to end resentment
Work on forgiveness
Accepting that the situation was unfair or that someone has hurt us does not necessarily lead to reconciliation with that person or exposure to that situation again.
Forgiveness is accepting with maturity that we have been hurt even if we do not agree and that this produced negative feelings in you. Leaving the situation behind will only free you from the heavy burden of carrying a grudge.
You can write a letter to vent everything you feel, cry if you feel it and then burn it, literally get rid of it, leave it in the past, it is no longer with you, and it cannot charge you with its negative energy.
Express your emotion
Let out what you feel, do not keep accumulating negative emotions inside you, feel and give expression to your pain.
Assertively express how the situation made you feel and be prepared to leave those emotions in the past. Open your mind to the present, allow yourself to grow healthy and free from the heavy loads that are harmful to your health derived from resentment.
In case resentment settles in your life, and you invest too much time and feel that you cannot get rid of it no matter how hard you try, contact a mental health specialist so that together they can design an intervention plan appropriate to your case…
