Why is it so hard to find love?
Surely you will ask yourself this on many occasions and you feel helpless for not finding love, that is, your ideal partner. The truth is that the life expectancy of couple relationships is getting lower and lower, as if they had an expiration date and that is something that, of course, is not the result of chance.
Some time ago it was said that the cinema had done a lot of damage in couple relationships since they created false expectations that later were not fulfilled in real life.
Influence of social networks in couple relationships
Today the problem is much greater due to social networks; And it is that now the references in which we compare ourselves are our friends, people on the street and who, obviously, will share on social networks those little moments of happiness that they will have in the company of their partner.
It was much easier and easier to accept that we did not have the life that Leonardo Di Caprio, Bradd Pitt or Nicole Kidman played than to assume that our neighbor, classmate or childhood friend is supposedly happier than we are.
I firmly believe that the human race is immature by nature and that a large percentage of the population has turned their social networks into an ideal showcase to share falsehood and hypocrisy.
As if it were a competition where the winner is the one who generates the most envy among his followers.
We envy who is more successful than us, but are we really so inept at assuming as successful people who share four snapshots full of filters?
We constantly compare ourselves with what our friends share and in this absurd game we always have the upper hand. Even the most miserable person in the world will have a choice during the day or week to share some visually pleasing snapshot.
Does this affect the love and stability of a relationship?
Of course. Once again we must talk about the expectations that we create in love when comparing ourselves with other couples in our environment. And if the comparison is related to social networks we are talking about a completely lost war.
We probably live in a time where we have the most possibilities in every way. For example, are we aware of the many communication channels we have today? Today we can talk to our partner through numerous instant messaging applications, social networks, etc.
We have an excess of cold, distant forms of communication that do nothing but cloud a relationship. Behind a screen many nuances and details that are very important in a relationship are lost.
And no, the cute "emojis" should not replace the pleasure of a conversation in person, enjoying the many nuances they have in it.
The impoverishment in communication leads to a weakening of the stability of a couple, especially if we take into account that these new forms of contact benefit misunderstandings between the members of a couple.
We also talk about the ease we have to meet new people and that is that in the options known as bars, discos or libraries, we must mention social networks and contact applications as new tools that we have at our disposal when it comes to meeting people..
These simple and free options make it possible for us to have less and less fear of being single since it is easier to find a new partner again.
Fears in couple relationships
The fear of being alone is possible that it is one of the most widespread phobias in the world, so it is logical that many couples continue not to experience this fear, even though they are not happy.
If we add to the fear of not being alone to the fear of change and the need to get out of the comfort zone, we get numerous unhappy couples as a result.
I can come to understand that being alone is difficult for some people, but what is really toxic and harmful is feeling lonely and misunderstood when having a partner. This is precisely where it is essential to mention the importance of loving yourself because it is impossible to love someone if you do not love yourself.
Coincidences of life (or not), the more options, facilities and possibilities we have to be happy, the more complicated we make it, as if we lost ourselves among so many options that life offers us.
Finding love is increasingly complicated due to high expectations, our demands when it comes to finding someone with whom to share our life and, not least, the many traumas that we drag from past relationships that only complicate a relationship that should flow naturally.
Surely you are thinking that in the past relationships "were for life", a concept that for many has become a fantasy. But... has anyone ever wondered why the couples of yesteryear lasted "for a lifetime"? I will not doubt that there were couples who really loved, respected and loved each other, but we cannot forget to mention some essential factors to understand the reason for this durability.
In the first place, separating was very frowned upon by society, so that we hardly found couples who did it and, consequently, they had great difficulties in being able to rebuild their lives together with another person. Nobody wanted to be in a relationship with a person who had been married.
It is also necessary to understand that women, at that time, had no presence (practically) in the labor market, so they depended on men to survive, this being another reason of weight when explaining why couples lasted so long ago a few decades.
And now? Precisely when both sexes are more even than ever, it seems that it is more difficult for a couple to fit in. Coincidences of life. Or causalities. Finding love shouldn't be difficult without learning to love ourselves in the first place.
Learn about relationships
Also learn to know ourselves and understand what kind of person can fit into our life. Learn also to fight for common goals, to practice all kinds of hobbies but, above all, learn to communicate correctly with our partner.
Perhaps the problem is not the difficulty we have in finding love, but it is where we derive the responsibility of being happy to the person next to us, something as common as it is harmful and the only thing that will serve to frustrate us.
Adapting to the new times is another of the pending subjects for all those who want to "survive" in love and, as we have already explained previously, we will mention the importance of loving oneself and the techniques and tools that we have at our disposal in the present to achieve this important objective, which not only offers us benefits in love but in any area of our life.
It is clear that we are talking about a very important task in which we must not skimp on resources.
Falling in love is one of the best things that life offers us, but if we mismanage our emotions we can turn this situation into a real nightmare and, in fact, there are many specialists who affirm that heartbreak is one of the situations that causes the most discomfort, anxiety and depression, this being another reason why it is vitally important to acquire tools that help us learn to correctly manage our emotions and feelings.
Internet is, among many other things, a source of wisdom where we can consult all kinds of experiences related to love, being a very interesting alternative that will help us to know all kinds of cases and situations related to love and relationships, so it is a free activity and that we have at our disposal to consult at any time.
It is true that finding the love of our life is not always an easy task, but it should also be noted that many times we find a person who fits with our life and we do not know how to take care of that relationship due to our character, insecurity, complexes or manias.
Therefore, before finding love, it is necessary to do personal work that allows us to be prepared to be happy with another person, without falling into the popular mistake of having the urgent need to be happy only when we have a partner.
It is clear that there are many factors that we must take into account in a relationship and one of the essential premises is that not all these factors will depend on oneself, but at least what is under our control we should have, worth the redundancy, controlled.
In short, we live in a society that goes too fast and we do not pay attention to those details that are what make the difference between being happy or unhappy, love being one of the most important.